If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
