You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
