Don't make out with my wife yet
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
