Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
