Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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