I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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