i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was born a porn star she said
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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