I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
