We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
