My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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