I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
