so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
