If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
