There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
