"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
