Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
