i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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