You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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