Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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