this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
