I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
