Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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