So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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