Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
