There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
