So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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