Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
