He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
