Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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