He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize