Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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