dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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