I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He felt like a one man threesome
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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