i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
