Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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