An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
