were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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