I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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