Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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