My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
