Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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