why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
