Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize