mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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