I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
look no pants
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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