it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
