You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
