At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
