He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
