Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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