I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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