dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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