Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
