I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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