Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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