I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
