pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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