In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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